Social media allows us to put out the things we want others to see about our lives. To screen what is known about us. To create a facade that everything is great.
But that’s not true. It never has been for me. There are days when I feel like I have my ish together and I can take on the world. There are far more days where I feel overwhelmed or exhausted or broken. I’ve been in a constant state of that lately, but hiding behind a forced smile or the excuse that “work is busy” or “I’m tired.” To be fair, those aren’t empty statements. Work has been colossally busy and I’m exhausted.
But I also feel absolutely lost. Like I’m wandering around this life and floundering because I haven’t found my purpose yet. Lost because I moved myself 2000 miles away from my family and no longer feel like I have one here. Lost because when I pray for answers, I’m not given them and I’m not strong enough to take that in stride and truly know that God’s plan is greater than mine ever could be. I’m not able to believe that His timing will come. Because all I feel right now is like I’m wandering aimlessly in a forest. With trees and leaves so thick, I see nothing but more forest. How do I know which way is mine to take when the trees and leaves sit there, silent and stoic?